"Sing in me, Muse, and through me tell the story...."

Thanks for the epic opening line, Homer.

We have returned from our tour! Sick, Bearded, and Tired. But still ready to rock, of course. Here are some highlights and lessons learned:

- Never judge a book (a club) by its cover (by the outside, even if it looks like a cabin in the middle of nowhere).

- If a bar challenges you to kill a keg, do it. Maybe wait until after you’re done playing to begin your quest.

- Bring a battery powered hair straightener.

- Ohio is wicked far away.

- If you roll into any Southern town with 13 dudes and sing Karaoke, you will make friends.

- If you roll into any Southern town with 13 dudes, you will make friends anways.

- Florida is wicked hot.

- Don’t take Skully’s shit without asking.

- Don’t open a rock club in Orlando across the street from a crazy Hatian family. Don’t.

- Anybody can have a yard and advertise it as a Campground on the internet.

- Matamoras, PA knows how to party.

- Robby Wu from KMC found the cure for the common cold; sleep for 36 hours.

- If you have a band, try to not promote a show at a Southern Baptist Med School.

- Enticing Southern Baptist Med students with lines like “you want to fucking party!?” and “$5 all you can drink!” will not help.

- 10 miles to the gallon is nothing to brag about.

- New York City is awesome, just not until after 10pm on a Friday night.

- Tattoos of fists giving the middle finger while holding a lightening bolt rule.

- Don’t go to Katz. Katz has rats.

- Matt and I are Fooz Ball champions.

- If you and some friends lift a van off the ground by yourselves, there is probably a truck behind it helping you.

- No one in Branchville, NJ can be trusted. No one.

- Girls in Bikinis wash vans better than anybody.

Two Vans, One Trailer Tour… You shall be missed.

steve